Foreign Affairs

This is where rednecks come from

2009-06-27T22:58:00.000-07:00

Not all foreigners are from over seas thats for sure. Some of the most interesting people we have met are just good ol' fashion rednecks.

Within the first 5 minutes in this town we went to order a pizza. The lady, Rita, who took our order at the little pizzaria was one of those ladies that talk to you like they've known you their whole life. Just chattin' away. Well we found out she has two jobs her other job is working at Stan's. I told her we were the new hired help. As soon as we walked out I told Zoie how awesome working with her will be. Sure enough our first day of work she was working too and it was awesome.

Larry Ekker Junior aka L.J.

Now this guys a real character. Him and his dad Larry Senior aka L.C. (You know L.C. becuase Larry Cenior...or is it Senior?)
Anyway, I think a redneck dictionary is based on the things they say. Things like: "mother fetchermetcher, fart knocker, mutt nugget, rather be a smart ass then a dumb ass, you shit and stepped in it too, huh?" those are just a few but you get the point. Oh and did I mention he is a cowboy.? "Ya damn straight"

Is That a Compliment?

2009-06-27T22:29:00.000-07:00

Has anybody ever said anything to you that you just didn't quite know how to take?

Here are a few examples:
Every now and then you have to sing out loud. I call it the S.O.L. moments in life. Well while at work I decided to sing a classic Leann Rimes song- I need you. Keecha decides that she can sing better than I ever could as if she was embarrased for me. She joins in right where I was and belts it out at the top of her lungs drowning me out showing me how to "really" sing. Way to go one-upper.

The other day we were talking about how great the Jamaicans new diets were working.
Keecha: "I lost 5 pounds so far!" Zoie: "I don't weigh myself it gets me depressed." Keecha: "Well don't you get depressed when you look in the mirror?" Zoie leaves the scene.

Hunger always wins. On one of our busy days our boss so kindly made us some spaghetti to eat on our breaks. However it was so busy we didn't go on our breaks 'till way late in the day meaning I hadn't eaten all day- Anyway I was hungry. So I'm in the break room eating up some of the spaghetti. When I hear the creep across the room who apparently had been watching me the whole time, "Do you chew your food?" with a lot of attitude mind you. All I had to say was "huh?"

Another day, busy day, lots of hard work, blood, sweat, tears-- mostly Zoies. Because despite popular belief she can have a bad hair day. She had been wearing a visor but decided to take it off just to let her head breath. when she was looking upon the customers making sure they were enjoying their dinner. She heard the creep from across the room who had apparently been looking upon HER. "Your hair looks horrible. Its the worst I've ever seen it. You need to go home, take a shower and brush it like you usually do." Again Zoie leaves the scene only to be found again wearing a visor.

Frowning is the New Smile

2009-06-25T23:55:00.000-07:00

Things that are frowned upon since 9-11:

Picking up hitch hikers....

Becoming a pilot...

Applying for a passport...

Carrying toothpaste on a plane....

Growing a beard...

Buying a turban...

THANKS A LOT BIN LADEN!!!

You are really Jamaican me crazy!!!!

2009-06-25T11:55:00.000-07:00

Okay so our bedroom is located in the living room of our beautiful duplex. Some people take this inconvenience as an advantage of their petty revenge. For example watching male enhancement infomercials until all hours of the night as loud as humanly possible, while leaving the light on and turning the thermostat to 86 degrees. Or having their Jamaican friends call ALL night long. Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring... You get the point. At first we thought maybe they just enjoyed learning about male enhancement but it was later confirmed they did all that just to annoy us. I guess were bigger people because we just turn the thermostat back down to a normal temp. like around 74. Since we do this we get to hear them sniffling their nose and crying about being "sick" the whole entire next day; lucky us.

How To:

2009-06-23T23:56:00.000-07:00

How To Chop Turkey:

Step 1: Get an onion chopper (pictured above) and make sure its sharp
Step 2: Make friends with a Turkish guy who likes to to play stupid games.
Step 3: See who's reaction time is faster- the Turkish guy or the onion chopper.

FINAL RESULT: Chopped "Turkey"

How to Trick a Jamaican:

Step 1: Get two Jamaicans who have no experience in Utah
Step 2: Volunteer to take them to foreign waters (Lake Powell)
Step 3: Make sure its dark outside and let the stories roll

FINAL RESULT: Two Jamaicans fearing the sharks and alligators living in Lake Powell. Really?

WTF!?! What the Foreigner!?!

2009-06-22T22:51:00.000-07:00

So if you think in the little town (if you can call it a town) of Hanksville you wouldn't expect to encounter many foreigners you'd be wrong.

On the day we arrived we met our new roomies; Calecia and Nikecha. Oh and if you were wondering thats not the proper way to spell Nikecha -- you can blame that on the nurse. They are two Jamaican girls living in H-ville for the summer to work and earn money. However their first paycheck was "wisely" used to pay the phone bill from all their calls made to Jamaica. Yeah it doesn't make a lot of sense. Why leave your home to make money and then spend it all calling that place you left?

After a few weeks of work, play, drama, meetings, tears -- mostly theirs. We recieved an addition to our staff. Two guys from Turkey. Ozgur or Oscar if you will and Ersin. Even if their English is broken and for the most part incorrect they are hilarious. The journey with these two started when we met the greyhound in Green River. I feel bad that was their first American experience. Greyhound!!!! Green River!!!! Ah poor guys :(